When I was going through my divorce several years ago, I found myself reading all sorts of self help and motivation books to seek answers and help me rationalize what I was going through. There was one book in particular that included a few chapters about” expecting nothing and accepting everything.”
Those words stuck with me because it redirected my brain to think differently. I was constantly feeling let down by people (naturally, since that was not an ideal period in my life). I was always feeling like nothing would go my way and stressing over being in pure survival mode as a working mom of a 2 year old from morning to night.
So by not expecting anything and allowing myself to accept everything - I was no longer setting myself up for disappointment. And then, I really appreciated EVERYTHING!!
Let's be clear here though….
Expecting nothing doesn’t mean that you sit on your ass, do nothing and hope that money, riches, a new man, and everything I wanted would fall from the sky.
It’s the realization that everything you fight has power over you and that everything you accept doesn’t
It’s to understand the difference between surrender and resignation, and choose the former
It signifies detaching from the end result and redirecting your attention towards the journey rather than fixating on the reward
That last bullet point is where I am at now. It seems like everything is so hard for me lately. EVERYTHING. Finances, taking care of the house by myself, hardships with school this year with RJ, my health and wellness path, relationships, friendships and so on. Nothing is easy. And I am not sharing this for a pity party for Lisa, because I realize everyone has their own shit they are dealing with.
I am sharing this more because I have had to check myself at the door recently and remind myself to “expect nothing and accept everything”. And maybe this article can be helpful to you if you do the same. If you expect nothing, you release the pressure.
So how can we practice this? Start by giving it a go in situations that aren’t most important to you and then give it a try in situations that are super important to you. If you go into any situation, whether it be a date, a job interview or even the most simple task, you are putting an insane amount of pressure on yourself, the situation and possibly the other person. When we have expectations of others, they are easily suffocated. When we have expectations from our careers, we set ourselves up for disappointment.
But when you don't expect anything from anyone or the situation, you show up a little differently. You show up as a more light-hearted, no bullshit, zero fucks given, version of yourself. Try it.
I know the reward I want. I know the end result I desire in several areas of my life. But like the bullet point above, I am retraining my brain to try to enjoy the journey. It’s not easy. It's quite hard actually. I think as humans we want instant gratification. And life just doesn’t always work that way.
So cheers to the reminder of expecting nothing and accepting everything. Maybe this will be helpful to you if you feel the need (like me) to hit the reset button every now and then.
